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On an introspective/personal note, Loneliness is tough business. I went through quite the manic period today. Aggression's not really characteristic of me; argumentativeness, yes, but pure adrenaline-fueled aggression, no; at least, not until I get into one of these phases, and I'd say it happens a couple times a year or so. I was just on fire today, and not in the best of ways, and I've been irritable and antsy for some time. It hasn't helped that I've been dealing with a lot of people on the phone: the bank, my gym, my work, an insurance company. I hate being on the phone as it is, and talking to a bored operator or an outsourced robotic assistant in Dubai is rarely reassuring and generally quite frustrating. So I went to the gym tonight and ran it out, which felt good. I'm not tired, now, somehow. I miss my dog, and I miss my grandfather. I don't know how long either will be around, and what's worse is that I will probably never see either again after my abrupt leave from home. I miss them so much; I love them. My grandfather and I had some violent disputes in the past couple of years, but he's my only biological relative that I could talk to, and he always made me feel special when he came around. My dachshund was my very best friend, and that's not embarrasing, not meant to be some silly sentimental joke; I cried on her little shoulders reliably, and we watched movies together. Looking at adoptable dogs online this morning, I had tears in my eyes, thinking of her being in my lap again. It re-inspires one of my lifelong goals, and that's to rescue a lot of dogs when I am able to own my own house/property. Few things are more fulfilling than improving the life of an animal and having him as a companion. 
Old picture. So, in the interest of lapsing into a nicer mood... onwards ho. My assigned reading for Salem came in the mail today: 
..though I don't have this pretty purple copy. I'm going to start reading and notating (heavily; I'd notate anyway, but they advised a close reading. The best kind of reading.) tomorrow, I think. I'm going to read more Catch-22 tonight. I read the back cover, and it looks interesting; called "readable" in reviews, which I hope doesn't translate to "an easy read." I like recommendations, though, it expands my reading repertoire. I also received a form today to pick a freshman seminar. I'm bummed that I'm going to have to wait to qualify for the Honors Program, because if I qualified now, I'd be taking a racial violence seminar called "Strange Fruit" (get the reference? Billie Holiday? I cited this in a paper once, heh). Not the most original topic, but probably a really interesting seminar. My top three choices were seminars on fear in modern america (postmodernism! Hell yes!), the creative mind, and analyzing romantic l ve. I'll be okay with any of them. |
