Currently From Chaos By 311 see related

Loveology

4:26 PM. It's storming nearby, showering here. I'm at home, on my back porch (more properly stated, at my home, which is the back porch, lately), enabled to do this by my laptop, one of the few extravagances I have left. Wearing what I woke up in; last night's lipstick still smudged on, dry. Rifling through a pack of 100s someone bought me, drinking cooled green tea. It's a green tea kind of day, and that means it's a thoughtful day; not an agonizingly thoughtful day, just a day to muse. And those days make the best blogging days, I find.

On a communicatory note ("Communicatory" --there's some descriptivism for you there), I have a new AIM. If you're my friend, my acquaintance, my future college classmate, or just one of the many Footprints on my site that I never get to know, feel free to shoot me a message. I like talking to and getting to know new people, especially if it gives me new things to write about on my Xanga (And yes, I'm aware, AIM is kind of middle-school, but I still use it to talk to people, along with Skype, Facebook, e-mail and text).

SN = et al et cetera

(The sun's out now. I wish it had stayed gray, or I hope the gray returns. Sunshine feels a little contrived at the moment.)

(Who did this cover art? It's cool. I'm aware that I'm asking a rhetorical question that I'm too lazy to look up in another Tab right now. )

I'm sure it would be displeasing to the company Audible (..if there was any one individual at this company aware enough to be displeased about this) to hear a new "customer" publicly tout that they've used Audible's 14-day Free Trial in order to obtain an Audiobook, with full intention of canceling that trial after the Audiobook has been finished and enjoyed.

But, eh. I'm poor (more accurately, broke). I did the same with Ancestry.com a month ago. If they offer it, I am free to indulge, and if they allow me to cancel with a claim of dissatisfaction, I may cancel (my dissatisfaction related to the fact that I will be asked to provide monetary compensation for books. Good books are art; art, in my opinion, is a metaphysical universal resource meant to be shared freely and not sold as a commodity. It can be argued that I am really just being cheap). And when the ad for Audible's trial appeared on my Facebook page, David Sedaris's new(ish) novel was depicted. I might not have taken the time to click on the ad, otherwise.

You see, I've read Naked, I've listened to a ton of Sedaris on audio in the car, and I've seen him live at the Blumenthal. I can't say he's as much of an intellectual turn-on as he has been for me; as my English teacher aptly described, Sedaris's crutch is irony and sarcasm. And though most humor today is based on these elements.. when you realize that this is essentially all you're laughing at, it feels a little... base. Uncreative. However, I had not completely dropped Sedaris, and I have been Limewiring his readings recently, with no luck. His new book looked interesting; so I got it on audio.

I've listened to 3 chapters, about 45 minutes of it thus far. And it's about what I expected, but a little better, I'd say, actually. The humor is right on track with what one can expect from Sedaris; the dry voice that describes in tragic anti-humor a well-scripted exagguration of childhood stories. However, that sounds like a scathing/condescending description, and it's not meant to be. This is what Sedaris does well. His new stories are funny; I enjoyed sitting out here and hearing them earlier today. His imitation of a horrific elderly nanny is actually pretty damn tickling.

There's nothing like Sedaris live/recorded. He's one of the few authors I'd rather hear than read.

(I don't hate all pictures of myself. However, this is not a favorite. I spent a long time on my curly ponytail on this evening, and yet my bangs decided to smush to my head. So my head isn't really flat, I promise.) Me and my friend Kel at the Calvar wedding. If you didn't read last post, Mr. Calvar is the Chamber Choir and AP Music Theory teacher at my (former..) high school. I do hope he enjoyed the card I made; I also ended up burning him a mix, which I hope he doesn't find trite, seeing as he is a quality musician and instructor, haha. I mean, I hugely appreciate classical music. But my CD for him, titled "Less Common Lve Songs," (though I did footnote that some of the songs were, uh, kind of common), was a contemporary romantic mix. Some cheerful songs, some slow dance songs, all kind of from my music taste (I mean, I couldn't go completely experimental. For most people, you don't put Animal Collective on a wedding album.)

The Calvar Wedding Mix CD:

My Love (Lykke Li)

White Flag (Dido)

Yellow [Coldplay Cover] (Jem)

Samson (Regina Spektor)

Michelle (The Beatles)

The Show (Lenka)

True Love Will Find You In The End (Wilco)

Up and Away (Dave Matthews)

Such Great Heights (Iron and Wine)

Raw Sugar (Metric)

Sea of Love (Cat Power)

Lisdexamphetamine* (Zack Polozune: my boyfriend. This is not a love song; it's his latest composition. I'm pretty sure Calvar's already heard it, but he may not have it on CD, and I figured it'd sort of be like a tribute-by-proxy from one of his composition students.)

The lovely couple, strolling onto the dance floor.

..I've been assigned my dorm: Gramley. I didn't have a strong preference, but I'm glad I got this one, because the beds are loftable. I also have a lot of friends on my hall.  A lot of my friends are in Babcock, though, so I'll definitely be crashing the other dorm a lot of the time. I'm hoping next year is the Honors Dorm, though. I don't know if it's any nicer, but I'll bet it's less crowded-- and we get to choose our own visitation hours.

Getting organized for college, like planning for any big move, is tricky. I have a four-tab  Spreadsheet (Bathroom, Bed, Desk, and Miscellaneous) for shopping/packing, and I feel like I've taken care to really think of most everything. But I'm SURE I'm missing things, big things. I really need more clothes; I didn't bring enough when I moved out. I need a digital camera, a nice digital SLR, desperately. And Waffle House still. hasn't. called. I don't know what to do. I have no money. I have just enough to cover this month's phone bill. That's it. And I need to be getting stuff for our room, my roommate Grace's and my dorm: an area rug, a lamp or two, ..I don't know, stuff for the walls? We need curtains. I feel like a terrible, cheap roommate.

The UO curtains I WISH I could buy .

I just tried to apply to Wal-Mart online. Their stupid online application is full of glitches. I'm going to have to drive to Mooresville and do it. I absolutely hate this.

On the flip side, my friend Tyler is enjoying a trip to Chicago as we speak. He's told me he loves the city, the people, etc. (I adore Chicago. If you scroll way back in my blog, I'll bet there's a post from when I went last August.) I was AIMing his cellphone, and we had the exchange seen below:

erwuxvcm (5:10:17 PM): It's really stuffy. Question: are places unique for anything other than the atmosphere's they create? As I walk through the city, I'm thinking about that

..What makes a "place?" Isn't it a completely relative term? Who defines where the "place" ends? First, on a basic level, if I say, "I love living in this place," I could be referring to a house, street, neighborhood, town, city, county, country, or maybe something that falls between those divisions. And what defines a location? As I'm re-reading our conversation excerpt, I'm not sure I really understand what he means by his second line there. (I just texted him to ask for elaboration.) Oh, gross, I just ashed on my speaker. I hate that.

I want to discuss this more, but I feel like I need him to further direct that discussion; it's kind of vague and I want to know what you mean, Tyler, by "atmosphere." My first thought was that the people in a location help determine what the location becomes, but I suppose that could be considered part of the.. atmosphere? What is atmosphere? This feels like it's going to become a chicken-egg dilemma (Is anything about a place inherent, or is it completely dependent on artificial factors?).

He's currently busy, and he says he wrote these thoughts down, and will get back to me tonight. Until then, the question remains open for thought.

This summarizes the nature of the Zack/Avery relationship.

I did get out for a sleepover with some of my girlfriends. We went to California Pizza Kitchen and Chick-fil-A for dessert, and we did  with Zack (he's still at  for Orientation/Registration. My friend Karen, whose house we stayed at, left today at 11 for hers, also at ECU), went for a 1 AM walk, then watched The Lion King online until we fell asleep on the guest bed. Heh. It was a nice break from routine.

Currently Grow Up and Blow Away By Metric "Raw Sugar" see related

Melt My Heart To Stone

Eh, I’m glad to see that this is at least marginally legible onscreen. This is a card I threw together last night at 10:30, haphazardly, using copy paper, a scrap of green construction paper, a highlighter, a blow pen, a glass pen, and a brown puff-ink pen. Bahaha. Innovation. (Zack’s Chamber Choir / AP Theory teacher, whom he’s known for four years, is getting married tomorrow. I haven’t been to a wedding in a long time, and this’ll be the first one that I’ve been to that I haven’t been in.)

I still haven’t written the inside yet, though I’m sure it’ll include a Hallmark-y play-on-cover-graphics followed by as personal a message as can be written to a couple I only know in passing. Hah. I’ve seen the future Mrs. Calvar (she’s a cutie ), at a student wedding shower in the school Black Box this spring, but I don’t think she even knows who I am, haha. I’ve hugged and shook hands with Mister a handful of times when he was with Zack, and it seemed like a gesture from “Zack’s girlfriend” was called for at the conclusion of the conversation. Haha. Still, I know my boyfriend admires him deeply (and got him a stellar wedding present, though I may not be at liberty to announce it, since word travels fast).

I have this season’s Victoria’s Secret playlist on, and this is simultaneously enjoyable and agonizing, because I never actually get to hear this music while standing behind the pink counter or waltzing about in the dressing room. Maybe I do too much waltzing in the dressing rooms, and this is why I am in absentia from Lingerie Land. Still, I provided my presence at the (optional) store meeting last weekend, and I fully intend to do the assignment given at the meeting (test the new Very Sexy Goes Pink bras and report with written results to supervisor). I am positively saccharine while on the clock. Can I have some hours this week? Please? I don’t understand why you’d reject 2 out of 3 of my Time-Off Requests for the month (and I never ask for full days off, just a couple hours here and there, generally for volunteer work) ..if you’re not planning on working me at all this week. I seriously open my online schedule now to a blank calendar.

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Stranger than Fiction. My favorite (stranger than) fictional working-girl. This is how I feel when I see my blank work schedule.

Waffle House in Cornelius was supposed to call this morning, and I ended up calling them; my background check’s not back. I want to tell them how much I NEED this job right now. I’m offering them most of my sleeping hours and some of my waking ones. And I have to pay for insurance, books, dorm gear, and college clothes, not to mention the graduation present I was going to get Zack, and film, and so much else. I’m sick of this. I’m an able body who’s decently intelligent and willing to work all summer. AM I THIS UNDESIRABLE TO THE WORK WORLD? Pause, I need to go have the last cigarette of this pack.

--Oh, and look at this, the mailman has brought me my roommate.

Ironically, I had put “Roommate” in this post’s Tags already because I thought I found someone whom I wanted to room with. She appears to be on vacation, and it appears that I’ve had my mind made up for me before her return. I’m picturing whoever’s in charge of this reading over my preferences form and, unable to find anyone to coordinate with my eccentric-ass self, assigning me someone completely random.

That’s not to say that I’m not excited to meet future roomie. It’s just that I’m already high-strung from the meds at this time of day, and so all kinds of horrid hypothetical scenarios are roaming my brain. But my higher mind is sure that things will be fine and    Grace     and I will be just chummy. (I hope.)

I’m going to shoot her an e-mail later, see if we're going to get along. (I don’t see her on Facebook, but I have her e-mail address. Does this mean she's .. not aware of Facebook? Too anti-establishment for Facebook? The latter, I hope.)

It’s hot out, like it is every day now, though there’s a nice breeze. I took the laptop out earlier for a first smoke, and even though I’d eaten a big brekkie, I was ridiculously off-balance, and almost fell a couple of times. And now I will mention that today is Day 5

(or 6? I’m not sure, but I skipped a day in the middle there) of being back on Vyvanse.  It’s a mixed bag, results-wise.  Interruption for a recent treasure-uncovery :

radioactiveAVERY (2:06:23 PM): Ooh, a Lenka cover of Gravity Rides Everything by Modest Mouse

radioactiveAVERY (2:06:26 PM): I'm liking.

End of digression. Days 1-3 of Vyvanse were.. manic. More manageably manic than in the past, though. I did a 2-hour makeover of the refrigerator, cleaned, organized, labeled everything. Applied to jobs, did campaign calls, registered for two volunteer events, handled all kinds of responsibilities. Worked out and made muffins and read. However, I did not sleep much over those three days, and not taking care to sleep adequately on my meds resulted in Day 4, which culminated around 4:30 PM in a violent panic attack, which my boyfriend and his dad helped me quell with some blush wine and Hydroxycine. I was slurring myself to sleep within minutes, and was unfortunately still a bit.. eh, rosy-cheeked during dinner (I made some amusing commentary and waved at the cats). I skipped my meds the next day, which ushered me into full recovery around 1 PM the next day. It was absolutely miserable. However, when I stop taking my ADHD medication, I end up hating myself for not sticking the first few “adjustment days” out, so yesterday (Day 5) I took it again. It was shaky, but not bad, and today is similar. Productive, a bit weak, high-strung and jumpy but doing alright. Just re-stocked my week-to-week pill cabinet*.

*Current Pill Inventory: This is partially for my own organization, but hey, for those reading with an anthopologic lens, it might be interesting. I’m going to need to track what needs to be re-purchased and/or added for l’universitie.

Vyvanse (ADHD)

Iron (Anemia)

Flaxseed Oil (Circulation)

Ibuprofen (Chronic Headaches. Partially because I can’t drink coffee anymore with my Vyvanse. I need to stock up on decaf. Not that that’ll help headaches, but I miss waking up to brew.)

Clarinex (Allergies)

Singulair (Allergies)

5-HTP (OUT) (Anxiety)

Hydroxine (Anxiety)

Zantac (Acid Reflux. Lovely, I know.)

Beta-Carotene (Skin, general antioxidant superpowers)

Magnesium (Bones and Muscles)

Er, I think that’s it. I need more 5-HTP, Some HairSkinNail pills. I have Folic Acid in my college box (no, I’m not pregnant. It’s good for everyone). And I’d like some supplements like Cinnamon, COQ-10, more green tea extract. Melatonin and/or Kava, which I take for sleep every few nights. And of course, Silk Milk, for, ah.. soy purposes. Haha.

I swear, I actually conduct myself with relative n0rmalcy on a day-to-day basis.

ON A RELATED NOTE : I’m becoming increasingly active with the OFA (Obama for America) Healthcare Action Center. I stick with this issue because it’s close to my heart, so to speak. I’d been planning to write the President a letter about healthcare, but when I got a mass e-mail from Biden about submitting your healthcare stories, I was quick to jot mine down. Here, have a read :

http://stories.barackobama.com/healthcare/stories/189254

I’m making 5 phone calls a day in the campaign to “neighbors” (although I never end up calling my actual neighbors, more like my figurative neighbors all over the state. And in one case, a woman who put her cellphone on the call list—why would you do this?—and answered in Switzerland, where it was apparently 2 AM at time of dialing. This woman was on vacation, and assumedly had been sleeping, because she was PISSED like nothing I’d ever heard. I mean, I was extremely apologetic. How the hell was I supposed to know she wasn’t at home in Charlotte? I wouldn’t have been this angry in her situation, but she was like, “JUST-JUST-SHUT UP. STOP TALKING.” And she had a few choice words before she hung up in disgust. So I checked the box titled “Did not wish to speak with me at this time,” though maybe I should have checked “I am not comfortable talking with this neighbor,” followed by the text-box explanation, “This neighbor is a sour bitch.” However, this felt undemocractic, and for the sake of continuing my calling career, I followed procedure and finished up calls for the day).  

In these calls I explain the President’s three key points for the Public Option. Nervously, I might add. I’m not nervous with people at all, but something about the phone freaks me out. I’m not even collecting donations, but I feel like a telemarketer in this position, and I often feel like these people are angry from the moment I begin my scripted dialogue (and this is not always inaccurate, even when the recipient is not in Switzerland).

Anyway, check out my story, scroll my profile to find out why a libertarian is working for a Democrat for free. Heh.

This book is going marvelously. The premise of writing a hyper-intelligent book about the least intelligent topics possible appeals to me completely; if you've by chance seen my short essay "Salon Se Swa" or even just talked to me, you know that I relish this kind of thing. It's almost like defeating the stupidity in a "stupid" topic through deconstruction. And Klosterman is painfully funny about it. Comparing a scene in the Pam/Tommy Lee sex tape to the butchering of the cow at the end of Apocalypse Now had me doing a very unattractive, bowled-over laugh on the back porch last night. 

("Salon Se Swa," averyalexandra.pbwiki.com)

Today’s Objectives : Finish that card, now that the paint’s dry (I love DIY. So much more satisfying than store-bought). E-mail roomie. Do nails. Keep my friend entertained via text as she rides in the car to Rhode Island with nothing but her iPod for fun. Check on the essential oil I’m making. Maybe go to the gym. Hopefully just get out for a while.

Currently Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Widescreen Edition) By Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Richard Harris, Maggie Smith see related

Quiet Times

On an introspective/personal note,

Loneliness is tough business. I went through quite the manic period today. Aggression's not really characteristic of me; argumentativeness, yes, but pure adrenaline-fueled aggression, no; at least, not until I get into one of these phases, and I'd say it happens a couple times a year or so. I was just on fire today, and not in the best of ways, and I've been irritable and antsy for some time. It hasn't helped that I've been dealing with a lot of people on the phone: the bank, my gym, my work, an insurance company. I hate being on the phone as it is, and talking to a bored operator or an outsourced robotic assistant in Dubai is rarely reassuring and generally quite frustrating.

So I went to the gym tonight and ran it out, which felt good. I'm not tired, now, somehow. I miss my dog, and I miss my grandfather. I don't know how long either will be around, and what's worse is that I will probably never see either again after my abrupt leave from home. I miss them so much; I love them. My grandfather and I had some violent disputes in the past couple of years, but he's my only biological relative that I could talk to, and he always made me feel special when he came around. My dachshund was my very best friend, and that's not embarrasing, not meant to be some silly sentimental joke; I cried on her little shoulders reliably, and we watched movies together.

Looking at adoptable dogs online this morning, I had tears in my eyes, thinking of her being in my lap again. It re-inspires one of my lifelong goals, and that's to rescue a lot of dogs when I am able to own my own house/property. Few things are more fulfilling than improving the life of an animal and having him as a companion.

Old picture.

So, in the interest of lapsing into a nicer mood... onwards ho.

My assigned reading for Salem came in the mail today:

..though I don't have this pretty purple copy. I'm going to start reading and notating (heavily; I'd notate anyway, but they advised a close reading. The best kind of reading.) tomorrow, I think. I'm going to read more Catch-22 tonight. I read the back cover, and it looks interesting; called "readable" in reviews, which I hope doesn't translate to "an easy read." I like recommendations, though, it expands my reading repertoire. I also received a form today to pick a freshman seminar. I'm bummed that I'm going to have to wait to qualify for the Honors Program, because if I qualified now, I'd be taking a racial violence seminar called "Strange Fruit" (get the reference? Billie Holiday? I cited this in a paper once, heh). Not the most original topic, but probably a really interesting seminar. My top three choices were seminars on fear in modern america (postmodernism! Hell yes!), the creative mind, and analyzing romantic lve. I'll be okay with any of them.

Currently rearviewmirror (Greatest Hits 1991-2003) By Pearl Jam see related

April 29, 1992

I figured out quite a while ago that the titles of Xanga entries have much to do with whether or not they are featured. I name my entries with song titles, knowing this makes them almost ineligible. The topic of the post is preferably explicit in the first line, and the whole (generally brief) post surrounds that topic: science, immigration, asians, relationships, depression, the new presidency, Jon and Kate (if reality television is your primary topic of interest, you are a bluthering idiot.) religion (A Christian Facebook? ..C'mon, why do you need one? Is it so empowering to isolate yourselves?), -- common topics. And I'm not really sure why I refuse to budge from the formula I'm using, other than it's unique and a bit more interesting than spelling things out plainly; gives a bit of atmosphere to my writing, here's what I'm hearing while I'm writing this. And I'm hoping I'll start nabbing some features anyway. I really do enjoy my Xanga and have kept it up for quite a while now.

 THIS is a Monday morning the way Monday mornings should be-- the way they only are in summer. Making oatmeal from scratch, playing Keno (on Pogo, my longtime favorite rainy-day hangout. My uncle, who works in Biloxi casinos, introduced me to it when I was a little kid, and now that I'm a broke young'un, I relish the opportunity to play free for cash while doing other things online... if you're on Pogo, find Averyalexandrah and we can play together: I like to head up Scrabble tables), and reading NY Times Magazine at the kitchen table.

I mostly polished this issue off, taking the most time on an article on Jodi Picoult (whom I have not read) and the success of her novels alongside other novels about "child peril"-- essentially, all the bad things that can happen to your 5-to-17 year old, including but not limited to clerical molestation, rare cancers, and abandonment. Essentially highlighting the fact that the more we dote on children, the more we worry that we aren't doing enough. And this is true in large part, I believe, seeing as there were days when the gen-X'ers' parents trick-or-treated sans parental supervision (never mind the fact that in some neighborhoods, there were needles in the candy) and the ideas of national missing child alerts and signs in the yards of sex predators seemed paranoid, were essentially unheard of. Is it good that we're becoming more watchful? Have we crossed a line? I'd say yes to both, with the asteriked addendums that A) I can find more important issues to concern myself with, and B) This is why I will not conceive: I have too little time in my life to spend it fawning over the minutia of child-rearing, simply because it's convention to have (a) child(ren) and do so. Choice childlessness is highly underrated as a lifestyle choice.

There were no good interior design articles in this issue, a slight disappointment. NYTM always features the best postmodern architecture and furnishings. Just mindboggling stuff.

^ The Sliding House. My boyfriend showed me this, and I got so excited. Contracting an innovative builder to create me a masterpiece to live in is one of the few reasons I would really care to have some money later on (primary reason would be to fund photo equipment and to cover living expenses so I might travel, and then stay home to.. I don't know, write? ) You can see it in action here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxmvRDTELy8

(I also adore his accent.)

Busily searching for a second job, since Victoria's Secret isn't giving great hours.. at all. I understand that you accumulate hours in your schedule by selling credit cards. However, the faulty logic is that I will be able to sell these credit cards if I am not getting any hours to begin with. I cannot go door-to-door on my own time (uh.. at least, I don't think I can.. maybe I can borrow a few forms and try recruiting friends?). Let me WORK, if you want me to work for you; after all, I am just now getting readjusted into retail sales after being a food cashier for a long time, and if I haven't been quite the most social salesperson, it's because I have had bronchitis and the flu for half a month. Seriously, cut a break. I love to do a great job at my job when given the chance. Especially during Semi-Annual Sale at VS-- I mean, come on, that's fun.

(I'll plug it: It's the best lip gloss ever.)

But meanwhile, both Zack and I are employed, and neither of us is making money, so we're on an epic second-job hunt, complete with a two-color hand-drawn map that covers three exits' worth of cafes, theatres, shops. We both applied at three yesterday, and when we get the car this afternoon, we're venturing out for a handful more, and doing the same tomorrow. Wish us luck!

And as I sit here, drinking the last of watered-down iced coffee, Salem College looms closer and closer. I'm nervous, we can say that. Though I've mapped out a potential, flexible schedule from the course catalogue that should allow me to cover just about everything I want to do (yes, I'm Type-A: no, I'm not ridiculous, and I am willing to move some things around. But I think this is feasible enough). My proposal for semester one, freshman year...

Southern Lit Hell yes! I get to skip Basic Composition with my AP score. And after Faulkner'ing and Flannery O'Connor'ing it up with Mr. Whiteside, I can't wait to see what college can augment to my genre knowledge. (And to think, I don't even like the South...)

College 100 + 101 Two little half-courses, the basic introductory fare fed to freshman at every college. It had to go in the schedule, so I can deal with it.

Yoga Nothing better to ease my first-semester jitters while getting a P.E credit.

Arts 20 (Intro to 2-D Design)

+

Arts 111 (Drawing)

Both essential for a photographer. I'm still very nervous that some of these classes are going to seem elementary and sort of dabbler-oriented for someone coming from an art school. I'm fully hoping they prove me wrong.

I will live here, and that is boss.

Is a cold front coming through? The breeze is cool. Time to find Catch-22, cancel my Peak membership, maybe play a game of Bingo.

Currently Infamous By Sony Computer Entertainment see related

Sonofa' Preacher Man

Coming to you LIVE from a brand-new Lenovo IdeaPad* !

*on the edge of the back porch of the house, with a mug of vanilla chai, Catch-22, a lighter and a cigarette which I'm holding off on smoking so the brand-new-sparkling-white keys don't catch smoke-smell.

And a 101 fever, STILL. I feel like I've been juggling bronchitis, allergies and the flu forever. It's probably good that I didn't work tonight, much as I actually wanted to; would've been hard to stand in heels, or to hear the headset, what with my ears being full of swamp water, drowning my auditory and vestibular senses. Still, it's hard to be too bitter. I GRADUATED! And it's about time. Still, it doesn't feel quite right; I feel like a drifter now, like I was previously part of a conglomerate that has now dissolved, and I don't identify with any group anymore (I was talking with my friend Tyler about this and he agreed). And so it's a new feeling, an odd feeling, but not a bad feeling, necessarily, at all. Will take some getting used to. But I'm so stoked for college. My boyfriend thinks it's ridiculous how I geek out and go message-boarding with my future classmates pretty much every day. But really, there's so much waiting for me at college.

TOP 10 REASONS I'M STOKED

10. Tanglewood Park. For real. I grew up in this park, and I miss it, I miss paddleboating and horseback-riding and renting the cabins in the woods. And the Festival of Lights, I mean, it's the meaning of Christmas.

9. Old Salem itself (the area encompassing Salem College). So beautiful. It's like a time capsule.

8. Dorm life! I think I find out my roomie in July. And the dorms are  two rooms with a connecting living room (I think this is what is called suite-style, but that might be something else?), I mean, they're awesome, I stayed in one. Can't wait to decorate, have my friends at other schools come crash, get some music goin'...

7. Fall Fest-- Salem's big annual autumn festival. I'll be dragging all my friends at other schools out to come party. And fall itself-- while not as quickly as I'd like to be, I am gradually progressing northwards, and while this fall won't quite entail infamous New England foliage, I'm looking forward to the (slightly colder than Charlotte) autumn chill.

6. Winston-Salem restaurants: returning to the spots I used to drop in on when I was a lil'un. T.J.'s for deli stuff, Mayberry for bubblegum ice cream, Gloria Jean's Coffee in Hanes Mall (yes, the coffeehouse I went to before Starbucks monopolized. And this was back when the only thing that interested me at a coffee bar was the rock candy on the counter, far out of my reach.) And this one bakery-cum-eatery that I can't for the life of me remember the name of-- I stopped by after UNCG Fall Fest last year-- but I love it, and I know I went there when I was little. I feel like it's near Salem Kitchen (I have a vague and somewhat distorted mental map of Winston-Salem at this point...) but I don't know. Also near Boston Market,which was called Boston Chicken when we used to stand out in line there in the cold to wait for dinner, years and years ago.

5. Medical: and here's where I get a touch political. I haven't had my own real doctor since I've been out on my own. I'm uninsured, prescriptions are outrageous-- and some controlled substances (my ADD meds) are not distributed via the free clinic. I call B.S. on this one, since it seems to imply that the poor/uninsured (and I fall into this category as a young independent) are more likely to abuse these substances. I really need mine. Pass some effective healthcare bills, Barack! Until then, it'll be nice to be covered by some less-expensive (mandatory) college insurance to take care of that, check-ups, vaccinations, B.C., etc.

(wow, it's getting cold out here... in mid-June? I mean, I guess I am sick, so I'm oversensitive. But it's windy!)

4. Urbex-- because Winston-Salem is preferable for exploration. It's older than Charlotte, more nooks and crannies to look for, more old buildings. I've already determined from discussion boards that at least one fellow Salemite will accompany me on adventures. :]

3. Classes. Just the school aspect of college is probably the most exciting part. I'm hoping to cross-register and take some more advanced photo courses at WFU and see if I can get in with the photo prof(s) at UNCSA. That, and courses like Twentieth-Century Poetry, Modern Art History, Major Issues of Philosophy, an entire course on Milton (!), and phys. ed. (ah, horseback riding, scuba diving, yoga, anyone?) have me pumped. I mean, even science gets to be fun-- I can take Women's Issues in Biology for my credit. I will really get to enjoy school, and that makes me happy.

2. WFU! Wake Forest is quite close, which means I can get my party fix (though I plan to get this fix minimally during the first few semesters... I promise.), go see football games (yeah, I know, I'm an art school kid, I know nothing of football. But I dig the game-watching experience, especially when it means stadium blankets and giant cups of Coke.), and walk around another absolutely beautiful campus. (I'm big on scenery.)

1. SLEEP. Yes. (Probably almost) Never having to wake up at 4:30 again. Never riding the rickety, jerky, loud school bus in the dark again. NeverevereverevereverevereverEVER. I mean, at worst, I may have to be up at 8 or something. And that is so okay with me. Not to mention that I'll be waking up in a beautifully historic room and walking down to a latte machine. I will be happy as a clam.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/babylonbeyond/2009/06/iran-leadership-more-divided-than-ever-analyst-says.html

Iran is about to be a big, big mess. I mean, big. Keeping an eye on this.

God, I hate being sick. My lips are so chapped.